Daily “Pam”-oir

Not the Event, It’s the Relationship

1/17/10

Recording life in EXACTLY six words, this top post is updated with my daily musing. You can read more about this project as well as all my entries since September 2009 on my 6-word blog:  The Pam-oirs

Dr. Oz’s 3 Tips to Start Your Day Right

I heard Dr. Mehmet Oz the other day suggest three easy changes to your morning routine that can make a big difference in your day.

1. Start each day with stretching. Dr. Oz says he begins his morning with 7 minutes of yoga.
2. Eat breakfast.
3. Get to work, appointments, classes, etc., 5 minutes early.

The first two I don’t have a problem accomplishing. But the third point? Well, it addresses time management, one of my great life challenges and no coincidence one of new year resolutions.

It is very difficult for me to get a handle on time. I suffer from two critical flaws — I over schedule my day and I underestimate the time it takes to do any given task. If it takes 15 minutes with no traffic to get to the doctor’s office and I have an appointment at 2:00, I will leave at 1:45. I allow for no contingencies. And heaven forbid, I actually get somewhere EARLY.

Dr. Oz says that being late will stress you out and cause high blood pressure. It also shows  — and this is important for me to remember — disrespect to those that are waiting for you. When you keep someone waiting you are in essence saying, “My time is more important than yours.” He pointed out that a late arrival  puts you at a deficit when you come into a meeting. You may have missed information and the other person has an advantage.

I took a yoga teacher training with the esteemed Judith Lasater who is a stickler about time. As those of you who have taught  workshops and classes  know (yoga or otherwise), it can be difficult to get a large group of people assembled and quieted. Not for Judith. She rings the bell and starts (with a moment of silence) whether people are settled in or not. You learn quickly not to be late, and if you are, she’s starting anyway. She also is just as conscientious about ending on time. Judith says, “We start class on time to honor the practice. We end class on time to honor our students.  Be it yoga class, PTA meetings, business appointments or lunch dates with friends, Judith’s words apply.

One more thought from one of my favorite authors which deserves a separate post in and of itself …

Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ~M. Scott Peck

THAT takes some digesting!

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In addition to the 3 tips listed above, Dr. Oz spells out several other changes that can positively impact your daily life including: avoid mindless eating, get off the couch,stay connected to family and friends, and have a regular bedtime.  Read more in The Seven Deadly Sins According to Dr Oz: What to Do to Replace  Them.

It All Changed in an Instant …

… for ME!

The following announcement is from SMITH Magazine about the release of their latest book, which … I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before! … I’m IN!

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The Story of the Six-Word Memoir Phenom & Review of

“It All Changed in an Instant”

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It’s SMITH Magazine’s four-year anniversary. And what better way to celebrate than with the release of our fourth book of Six-Word Memoirs, It All Changed in an Instant: More Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous & Obscure. The book has six-word memoirs from Malcolm Gladwell, Wally Lamb, Junot Diaz, Amy Tan, James Frey, Art Spiegelman, Sarah Silverman, Molly Ringwald, Margaret Cho, Yogi Berra, Tony Hawk, Tony Kushner, and many, many SMITH community members (including me, PAMELA WALSH!) And this is first collection of six-word memoirs to include some very wild, intense backstories.

If you’re going to buy it, and we hope so, get it today from Amazon. If everyone buys it via Amazon on the same day, it has a shot at shooting up the Amazon charts, which makes a big, big difference in the life of a book. Bonus: then you’ll have a really cool book for your bathroom (we know that’s where it goes…..) and to take to your next party instead of having a “let’s find a $10 bottle of wine that doesn’t look like a $10 bottle of wine” moment at the store.

The book tour will be in Austin this Friday, January 8, 2010 at 7 PM at BookPeople. Details and the full tour schedule.

Thank you all,

Larry & Rachel

• smithmag.net
• smithteens.com
• sixwordmemoirs.com

On Grace & Friendship: Reflections Reveal Deeper Meanings

As those who have ever kept a gratitude journal can attest, one of the effects of such a practice is that it causes you to become more conscious, to become an active witness of your own life. After all, if you have to write something down about it later, you better be paying attention. I have found the same thing to be true from my practice of composing daily 6-word memoirs. It “forces” me to reflect, to “BE” conscious, and frequently at the very moment I am ready to crawl into the UNconscious world of sleep.

If you stay with it, there are gifts in reflection. Combining a day’s events with my own reactions and then distilling it down to six words involves a certain kind of alchemy. This is not at all unlike the deeper opening you experience in yoga the second or third time you move into a pose. At first take you don’t yield significant results, and the process may be painful, but then … AHHHHHH, there’s the bliss.

I spent yesterday in the company of old friends. At this point in our lives the conversation will inevitably turn to the effects of aging at some point, and our ongoing, futile efforts to hide the ever-increasing lines on our faces. And so it was that on my drive home as I considered my six word memoir for the day, I began to audition a host of words on aging to try to settle on the six finalists that best expressed my frustration with this whole “getting old” thing: Age, Rage, Line, Define, Sag, Bag, Hag. I was on quite a roll.

Then the alchemy began to occur. Sifting through the words, my thoughts turned to how LONG I’ve been blessed to have these friends look into my eyes (aging or otherwise) and the grace that God has granted me with their very presence. I began to play with the words “face” and “grace” until I critically considered, is that the correct use of the word “grace”? So I paused to look it up the definition online: “grace: 1) the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God;” Wow. “2) The influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.”

Isn’t THAT the definition of friends; “the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.” Friendship, a synonym for God’s grace.

“Friends’ Faces Reflect Graces of God”

God Winks at Stasia Kelly

In my last post, I wrote about coincidence and “God Winks” as coined by author SQuire Rushnell in When GOD Winks: How the Power of Coincidence Guides Your Life. The following is one of my favorite God wink stories from Rushnell’s book as retold in an article about God Winks on the Christian Broadcast Network:

The story of Stasia Kelly was given to SQuire by Stasia’s husband. Stasia is the daughter of the famous, sad-faced clown, Emmett Kelly. She was taking a plane from Denver bound for Sarasota. That morning, her father’s face had been on the front page of the morning paper announcing his death.

The night before, she talked to him on the telephone. He had sounded out of character and was reminiscing about his life. He regarded the day he asked her mother to marry him and the day Stasia was born as the happiest days of his life. A photographer even captured the only picture of Emmett smiling, the day Stasia was born. Stasia knew that her father guarded his trademark frown so carefully that he never allowed himself to be photographed smiling, so this was a rare and special picture that was famous worldwide.

As Stasia was sitting on the plane, she had a copy of the morning paper and an old paper with the picture of her father smiling. She reflected about the picture of her father smiling and it struck her that he was smiling about her. She began to cry. The man on the plane next to her asked her if she was all right. She whispered “yes” and that her father died this morning. The man’s face turned ashen as he told Stasia he was the man who took the picture. A peace suddenly overcame her and she felt that her father was by God’s side smiling down at her. The photographer, Frank Beatty, and Stasia became good friends. He even was the photographer at her wedding.

Kelly on the day his daughter was born ~ photo by Frank Beatty

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To read the CBN article in its entirety, visit: SQuire Rushnell: The Wink of God.

If you have a “God Wink” story you’d like to share, please feel free to post it here. I do believe that the more we pay attention ~ and celebrate ~ these gifts from the Divine, the more conscious we become of the ever-presence of grace in our daily lives.

Coincidence & God Winks

“… There’s no coincidence. In fact, coincidence itself is a mathematical term. Remember in geometry, they would say that two angles that coincide, fit together perfectly – so now we’ve taken a term that means ‘two things that fit together perfectly’ and interpreted it to mean ‘something that fits together accidentally.’ We’ve just reversed the whole concept of coincidence – it’s co-in-side.” ~ Wayne Dyer

I heard this the other day in a podcast of Oprah Winfrey’s Soul Series in which she was talking with Wayne Dyer about his book, Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao. I have long thought that coincidences weren’t random happenings but gifts from God, little messages from the Divine. Author SQuire Rushnell calls them God winks. “There is a powerful correlation between wishes and winks, because when your wish comes true or your prayer is answered, it sometimes comes in the form of a coincidence – a wink from God.”

Much more to say on this … but it’s late & thoughts are still rumbling around in my brain. Call them coincidences synchronicity, or God winks, I DO think that when you begin to pay attention, you start to SEE these wonderful messages from the Divine much more frequently.

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Rushnell’s book When GOD Winks: How the Power of Coincidence Guides Your Life is available in both audio and print form.

Rushnell shows us that by recognizing our ‘God Winks,’ we can use the untapped power of coincidence to vastly improve our lives. The author applies his compelling theory as to why coincidences exist to fascinating stories in history, sports, medicine, and relationships involving both everyday and famous people including Barbra Streisand, Charles Schulz, Oprah Winfrey, Kevin Costner, Mark Twain, and Presidents John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. (from the Amazon.com book description)

Six Word Memoirs Newest Book Released

As those of you who have read this blog know, a little over a year ago I became fascinated with six-word memoirs after hearing about this particular story form in a piece on NPR. The people at the storytelling website SmithMag had published a book, a collection of 6 word memoirs. I loved the creative challenge, and in SHORT form started a new “micro” blog to chronicle my own daily entries, which I’ve been doing for the last 15 months. The name of the blog, “The Pam-oirs,” was my friend Diane Henry’s inspired idea!

Fast forward …. last month, I received word that one of my “memoirs” was selected for a new book of this unique story form. It All Changed in an Instant: More Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous & Obscure will be released this month, and they are kicking off their book tour in Austin with an event with readings at BookPeople this coming Friday night, January 8, 2010 at 7:00 p.m.

Thousands of memoirs are written every year, most of them clocking in at over 40,000 words. In It All Changed in an Instant, writers (both famous and not) are challenged to write their own six-word memoirs. The results range from funny to poignant. Authors Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser will be here at 7 PM. We are running a six-word memoir contest in honor of this event, so bring your brief memoirs to the reading where will award prizes to the winners! Here’s our six: Reading of short memoirs inspires, entertains. Our readings are fun, participatory, and short! We start on time & end 45 minutes later.

Six Word Memoirs are intriguing. Can you concisely tell a story in EXACTLY six words? But one of the things that I particularly enjoy about this genre is their inherent  mystery. While sometimes the story behind the memoir is quite obvious, often times the reader is left to wonder, “what’s this really about?” Many times I have had folks say to me,”Oh, I know what THAT one was about,” only to be wrong in their assumption. For me, that is the fun. The interpretation can be so universal, but if you know the story, it’s a bit like pulling the curtain back on the Wizard of Oz.

So, if any of you are interested in seeing this art form in action (not to mention celebrating the book’s release), I’d be so honored to share the evening with you. BookPeople is located in downtown Austin at 603 N. Lamar, next to Whole Foods. Additional book events are scheduled for Brooklyn, Milwaukee, San Francisco, Seattle & New York City. For dates and more information, please check out the book tour schedule. And finally, pictured below is MY page, PAGE 123! Woo-hoooooo!

Get your copy soon! It’s great bathroom reading material! And remember …

Today the Toilet, Tomorrow the Coffee Table!

Pamela

My Favorite Erma Bombeck Holiday Essay

Erma Bombeck

Editor’s Note: Erma Bombeck is one of my all-time favorite writers. I was a huge fan of her columns which ran in our local paper while I was growing up & to this day, one of the highest compliments I can receive on a piece of my writing is that it reminds a reader of Erma. Her self-deprecating humor not only provided many smiles but also comforted those of us who didn’t feel like we lived up to the Beaver Cleaver images of family & motherhood. When she passed away in 1996, I felt like I’d lost a family member.

While I have several favorite “Erma” essays — and many can be found in her book  Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America’s Favorite Humorist — the one below is my all-time Christmas sentiment.  Merry Christmas, Everybody!

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Christmas Chimes ~ by Erma Bombeck

Everything is in readiness.

The tree is trimmed.  The cards taped to the door frame.  The boxes stacked in glittering disarray under the tree.

Why don’t I hear chimes?

Remember the small boy who made the chimes ring in a fictional story years ago?  As the legend went, the chimes would not ring unless a gift of love was placed on the altar.  Kings and men of great wealth placed untold jewels there, but year after year the church remained silent.

Then one Christmas Eve, a small child in a tattered coat made his way down the aisle, and without anyone noticing he took off his coat and placed it on the altar.  The chimes rang out joyously throughout the land to mark the unselfish giving of a small boy.

I used to hear chimes.

I heard them the year one of my sons gave me a tattered piece of construction paper on which he had crayoned two hands folded in prayer and a moving message, OH COME HOLY SPIT!

I heard them the year I got a shoe box that contained two baseball cards and the gum was still with them.

I heard them the Christmas they all got together and cleaned the garage.

They’re gone, aren’t they?  The years of the lace doilies fashioned into snowflakes … the hands traced in plaster of paris … the Christmas trees of pipe cleaners … the thread spools that held small candles.  They’re gone.

The chubby hands that clumsily used up $2 worth of paper to wrap a cork coaster are sophisticated enough to take a number and have the gift wrapped professionally.

The childish decision of when to break the ceramic piggy bank with a hammer to spring the 59 cents is now resolved by a credit card.

The muted thump of pajama-covered feet padding down the stairs to tuck her homemade crumb scrapers beneath the tree has given way to pantyhose and fashion boots to the knee.

It’ll be a good Christmas.  We’ll eat too much.  Make a mess in the living room.  Throw the warranties into the fire by mistake.  Drive the dog crazy taping bows to his tail.  Return cookies to the plate with a bite out of them.  Listen to Christmas music.

But Lord … what I would give to bend low and receive a gift of toothpicks and library paste and hear the chimes just one more time!

In Case You Hadn’t Noticed …

… I ran away from home!

I have not written for quite some time. I miss my writing, I miss my yoga, I miss my yoga that comes in keystrokes on a blog. When you get away from something for awhile, it’s SO hard to return to it. All sorts of feelings & resistance surfaces: how much have I lost, what if I can’t do it, who is judging me? (Could anyone be harsher on me than myself?)  “What are THEY doing here, acting like they know what to do?” So many things I don’t know.

“We run away all the time to avoid coming face to face with ourselves.” ~ Author Unknown

What I DO know is that I just have to start today ~ not wait until tomorrow, or the new year, or the first of the month, or even Monday ~ but RIGHT now. So I’ve started back at my 6 word memoirs, and I rolled my mat out onto the floor, and now I’m throwing something onto this blog to see what’s going to stick, and the Nike commercial plays in my head …  Just do it. Just do it. Just do it.

And trust.

“God, why do I storm heaven for answers that are already in my heart?  Every grace I need has already been given me.  Oh, lead me to the Beyond within.”

~Macrina Wieherkehr

Everyone Likes the New Boat

Checking out the other bitches at the lake

Begging to go out to the Boat

College Advice from the Trenches

Last month, my nephew graduated from high school along with my cousin’s daughter. Family gathered at my parents’ home to mark the double celebration. One of the “gifts” was a book of advice that my sister compiled for the two inbound college freshman. She had solicited input from everyone in the family ~ young & old, 8 year-olds & college grads alike. The result was quite entertaining, inspirational, and dare I say, practical as well.

Our oldest son, Austin, will be a junior at the University of Texas this fall. During the past two years, he has experienced both dorm & fraternity living, gained entrance into the McCombs School of Business, and navigated a host of extracurricular activities. While most of us waxed poetic, offering the high school grads a half a dozen pearls of wisdom, Austin took the task to heart and delivered pointed guidance to his cousins who are about to join him in the collegiate world.

From saving money on textbooks, to getting along with others, to utilizing technology tools effectively, I found his resulting list “33 College Tips for Freshman” to be worthy of a reprint. Maybe it will make you smile, or maybe you’ll nod in agreement. Then again, maybe you’ll simply rush out to buy underwear!

Advice for the College-Bound

by Austin Walsh

1. Get gmail and learn how to effectively use it. Seriously.
2. Paper plates and cups are gifts of heaven.
3. Get a good backpack: I recommend Northface Recon Black.
4. In Microsoft Office learn to use the program OneNote.
5. You’re in college, don’t take yourself so seriously.
6. Find “your place” to study. I like big open rooms that are cold.
7. First day at dorm/apartment meet EVERYONE on your floor. Go knock and introduce yourself, ask about major, tell where you live, what you do. It may seem intimidating but you will not regret knowing everyone when your printer runs out of ink last minute.
8. Meet your RA and treat everyone nice, always say hi. I had a computer science/ philosophy major neighbor who I had nothing in common with but made friends with anyways. Saved me when computer messed up during finals.
9. Walk to class if possible, adds up to a great amount of exercise.
10. MEET YOUR TEACHERS AND TAs. Grading is an inexact science, use personal relationships to your benefit.
11. Learn how to write e-mails. Don’t use shortcuts, (almost always) address it with “Professor Blank:”.
12. Find an organization, whether it’s a major group, fraternity, sports team, whatever it is, great to have a group.
13. Don’t eat while studying, drink ice water. Keeps you hydrated and limits useless calories.
14. A great healthy meal that can be made in 45 seconds: protein scoop with water. I recommend Syntha 6 Chocolate Milkshake.
15. Be a good roommate: clean up after yourself, don’t complain, and always offer to help out with chores. Good relations can literally change your year.
16. Download audiobooks you can listen to on way to class. Vango Notes are great if your book has it.
17. Get a pickaprof account immediately.
18. Register on the first day you can, the earliest you can. Classes fill fast, make sure you know the classes and schedule you want.
19. DO NOT TAKE A CLASS BEFORE 10 am unless you absolutely have to. It is not high school, you will not wake up.
20. Go to class. Seems obvious but many students don’t. Texas tuition translates such that every class missed is equivalent of wasting $280.
21. Plan ahead, what’s your long term goal? Find a way to make it happen.
22. Don’t bring video games to college. Time waste to the max, there is plenty to do.
23. Exoficcio underwear is amazing. Can be washed in the sink and dries quick. Lifesaver.
24. Anti-wrinkle spray: also great.
25. Don’t buy books at your campus bookstore. Use chegg.com, older friends’ books, amazon.com, Facebook marketplace, Craigslist, anything. Saves me roughly $500 a year.
26. Get an online calendar, I recommend google calendar.
27. If you like studying with music: pandora.com.
28. Limit Facebook profile to friends only and don’t post stupid pictures.
29. Have a positive attitude. I’ve bombed tests with 20’s and still made A’s in the class. Not the end of the world.
30. Do homework that isn’t required, usually where test questions come from.
31. Use pickaprof to figure out how tests will be. Most professors test off of lecture, some say they will, then use test bank questions straight from the book. Know their style.
32. You can cram. Although not recommended, it is possible to make an A cramming.
33. Try and take classes back to back and don’t take more than 12-15 hours per semester. A consistent schedule will save your life.

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* This summer, Austin is studying abroad with the University of Virginia’s Semester at Sea program. On board a ship with over 700 other college students from 300 colleges and universities, he will visit 8 countries in 67 days. To read more about the program and his experiences this summer, check out his blog: Longhorn at Sea.

Velo Cardio Facial Syndrome (VCFS) ~ The Personal Side

It’s Not So Much What You FEEL …

… it’s what you DO with your feelings that’s important.

This is one of my favorite quotes … And I said it! Of course, many others have said it too in some form or another (and certainly long before I ever did) but still, I’m happy I figured this one out enough to articulate it quite some time ago. I also came across the writings of John Powell quite some time ago, though they’ve sat buried on my bookshelves for many years. I remember reading him back in my early 20’s, and found him wonderfully wise even then. Nearly three decades later, I ran across one of his books and pulled it out to read. His piece below illustrates “MY” quote perfectly I am happy to say his books are still available. Little wonder really, his insights remain timeless.

The Fully Human Person is an Actor, not a Reactor

Sydney Harris, the syndicated columnist, tells the story of accompanying his friend to a newsstand. The friend greeted the newsman very courteously, but in return received gruff and discourteous service. Accepting the newspaper that was shoved rudely in his direction, the friend of Harris politely smiled and wished the newsman a nice weekend. As the two friends walked down the street, the columnist asked:

“Does he always treat you so rudely?”

“Yes, unfortunately he does.”

“And are you always so polite and friendly to him?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Why are you so nice to him when he is so unfriendly to you?”

“Because I don’t want him to decide how I’m going to act.”

The suggestion is that “fully human” people are “their own persons,” that they do not bend to every wind which blows, that they are not at the mercy of all the pettiness, the meanness, the impatience and anger of others. Atmospheres do not transform them as much as they transform their atmospheres.

Most of us, unfortunately, feel like a floating boat the mercy of the winds and waves. We have not ballast when the winds rage and waves churn. We say things like: “He made me so mad.” “You really get to me.” “Her remark embarrassed me terribly.” “This weather really depresses me.” “This job really bores me.” “The very sight of him saddens me.”

Note that all these things are doing something to me and to my emotions. I have nothing to say about my anger, depression, sadness, and so on. And like everyone else we are content to blame others, circumstances, and bad luck. Fully human people, as Shakespeare puts it in Julius Caesar, know that “the fault, dear Brutus, is not with our stars, but with ourselves.” We must learn that we can rise above the dust of daily battle that chokes and blinds so many of us. This is precisely what is asked of us in the process of growth as a person.

There is nothing implied here that suggests repression of emotions or that denies the fullness of life in our senses and emotions. The suggestion is rather of balance and integration of emotions. In fully alive human beings, there can be no such thing as either deadening or unconditionally surrendering to the senses or emotions.

Fully alive people listen to, are attuned to their senses and emotions. However, surrendering to them would imply abdication of intellect and choice. These are the precise powers that make human beings more than brute animals, though a little less than the angels.”

From Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? Insights into Personal Growth by John Powell

New Revolution Sticky Mat from Prana: The Videos!

Prana recently released a new yoga mat, The Revolution. Over three years in development, the mat was designed by Dave Kennedy in conjunction with Anusara Yoga’s founder, John Friend. It boasts an extra 6″ width over standard mats — a special boon to those of broad shoulders — and with all-natural materials, you can rest well in savasana knowing that YOU are an ecofriend.

Revolution Natural Sticky Yoga Mat by prAna (eco-friendly!) – NEW! From DrishtiYoga.com:

Check it out, guys! This is a new yoga mat that’s just been released by prAna. prAna designed this mat with the help of Anusara Yoga founder John Friend. They claim that this is the best yoga mat available on the market, and we agree that it’s pretty darn cool. The thing that stands out most about this mat is that it’s extremely roomy. Whereas the average yoga mat is 24″x68″ in size, the new Revolution Yoga Mat is a whopping 30″x78″ – wowza that’s big! In addition to its extra-large size, the Revolution Mat is also very well-made. It’s a rubber-based all-natural yoga mat which is made with no hazardous materials (i.e. no PVC), and it’s completely biodegradable. This mat also has excellent anti-slip properties and superior cushioning. At 4mm thick, you won’t experience any moving or bunching underfoot.

The Revolution Yoga Mat is very dense (meaning that it’s therefore incredibly durable), and because of that, it has a hefty weight of about 10 pounds.

Available in grass and burnt orange. 30″x78″x4mm.

For a slightly lighterweight version of this mat which is 26″ wide instead of 30″ wide, see the Neo Natural Yoga Mat by prAna. The only difference between the Neo Natural Mat and the Revolution Mat is that the Neo Natural Mat is 4″ narrower.

A Video Revolution

The videos touting the Revolution’s release are playful, fun and artistic. Put together by Michael Longstaff (aka Milo), they are a series of promotions that emphasize the mat’s features in a fabulously creative out of the box — or should I say, “off the mat” visual array. (FYI: Michael Longstaff produced the Anusara Yoga syllabus poster “From Tadasana to Savasana” featuring Darren Rhodes. For more info on Michael, visit Tirtha Studios.)

The videos are totally fun. For those in the Anusara community, there’s an added bonus of recognizable friends. You can find these on YouTube. It will only take you about 5 minutes to watch these … and don’t miss “The Finale”!

Let’s start a REVOLUTION … order yours today!

The Joy (with Christina) ~ A Revolution Makes Christina Sell TALLER!

The Size: (look for Kelly)

The Construction:

The Smell:

The Finale: (with John Friend, Christina & Kelly Sell, Peter Goodman, Tiffany Grimm, Darren Rhodes & more!)

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Do you Twitter? Follow:

• Dave Kennedy
• Michael Longstaff
• (and of course) ME!

Working Towards Kapotasana: Open to Grace

The Journey Towards My Heels

My Face Off with Change

Backbends are challenging for me — both physically and on an energetic level. And as such, it’s a curious study to watch where my mind goes throughout the course of a backbending practice: I am aggravated, frustrated, invigorated and ultimately fascinated by them. If I learn nothing else from backbends, they do illustrate & remind me of the first principle of Anusara Yoga: “Open to Grace.”

These photos were taken at our Anusara group practice yesterday with Christina Sell. For more pictures, check out Christina’s blog.

When Babies Don’t Sleep: Don’t Worry

My Baby in 1989

Earlier this week I was speaking with a friend about her 3 year-old. She was worried about his current sleep habits (or lack there of) and was looking for my “expert” advice. As the mother of three, I’ve had more than a few episodes of sleepless nights beginning with their infancy when you don’t know why they’re crying to the toddler temper “I don’t want to go to bed” to the mysterious 4th grade year of unarticulated fears that kept them from sleeping through the night and sleeping over at friends.  It’s enough to make a mother crazy.

In my search for sanity, I left no stone unturned. I read books. I consulted doctors. I talked to my friends. I pretty much tried every technique and solution that was offered. With that, three boys and 20 years later, here’s what I learned.

Don’t worry so much about letting them get in bed with you & not sleeping in their own rooms. People will say, “Oh, they need to learn to do that on their own …  You don’t want to start a bad habit … They’ll never want to sleep by themselves! … Be firm … You have to show them who’s in charge.”

But the time goes by SO FAST! Before you know it, they grow up and they’re gone, and then you’re sleepless nights are more about where they are and what they’re doing, and you’d give anything for a few more moments of that precious quiet time together.

Besides that, have you ever met an 18-year old that still slept with their parents?! So my expert advice? Relax … Enjoy … Cherish!

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My "baby" in 2007 with his dad, dog & younger brother

And if you’re lucky, you DO get another one or two moments of quiet time together!

Get Out of the Drama of your Life

Most of us would agree that language is powerful and particularly its impact on our own ability to clearly see our own circumstances.  “Be careful what you say” is advice worth heeding, yet when we are in overwhelm, we typically describe the situation with the use of extreme words like always, never, and totally. This has a dramatic impact, and one that keeps us from clearly seeing the truth before us.

The following is an excerpt from Debbie Ford’s book Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life. Though her book was written to help people heal from divorce, her insight on getting stuck in the drama of your life is relevant to any overwhelming situation.

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Things Aren’t Always What They Seem

Divine guidance lays the foundation that gives us the support and understanding we need to begin practicing the Law of Acceptance. Acceptance is the essential ingredient that enables us to begin the healing process. We cannot accept a situation until we’re ready to look fearlessly at the facts of our circumstances. We can’t heal what we cannot see, and we can’t heal what we cannot feel. Yet too often the pain from our past and our fears of the future keep us stuck and unable to see our lives as a whole. Our blurred vision prohibits us from being in the present and opening up to higher levels of awareness. “It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any self-deception or illusion,” the I Ching states, “that a light will develop out of events, by which the path to success may be recognized.”

Acceptance comes when we step out of denial and judgment and are willing to see the present exactly as it exists in this moment, without any drama or story line. Drama keeps us stuck in an endless spiral of excuses that prevent us from being able to distinguish between fact and fantasy. Our drama serves as a defense mechanism designed to protect us from the pain of our past. When we’re caught up in our drama, we are no longer living in the present moment. Instead, we get hooked into every similar experience from our past that was left unhealed. We think we are responding to the challenges of our lives when in fact we are reacting to all of our unresolved pain.

We must realize that what is happening in this moment is calling us to heal what happened to us in the past. To break free from the confines of our story we must distinguish what is real from what is unreal. What is from the past and what is happening now? What is our present day pain and what is the unresolved pain of our past?

What’s Wrong with the Yoga Craze

I just ran across a yoga article on an online fitness site Testosterone.Muscle Unapologetic Muscle-Building Elitists. (Okay, not your typical yogi reading material, I’ll admit.) Mike Robertson’s article Yoga is Overrated makes a case against the yoga fitness craze. Surprisingly, I agree with him on a number of his assertions. Be sure to read the full text of Robertson’s article, (with my apologies for the cheesecake picture at the end). A summary of his points:

Yoga the Good

1. Mind-Muscle Connection
2. Decrease Stress
3. Balance

Yoga the Bad

1. Instability
2. “Tightness” does not equal “Needs to be Stretched”
3. Group Exercise/Lack of Individualization

Getting the Most Out of Your Yoga

1. Find an educated teacher
2. Smaller classes
3. Focus on Quality vs. Quantity

His points on instability and tightness do not hold water in the context of Anusara Yoga where the emphasis is on balanced action — you do not stretch a muscle until you draw in circumfrentially with muscular energy. However, Robertson’s “Yoga the Bad” reflects what IS bad in what I’ll call psuedo-yoga offerings. Unfortunately, there are all too many of these kinds of teachers and classes, not only in the gym setting but perhaps (more damaging) in the yoga studio as well.

Just like I’m sure Robertson would agree that incorrectly performed body building exercises are not good for you, I whole-heartedly agree with his assertions as they relate to “incorrect” yoga. His tips for getting the most out of your yoga are worth heeding; his summation a great prediction:

“I may be living in a dream world, but I believe that there will be a revolution in the yoga world in the coming years that puts a serious emphasis on moving in a biomechanically efficient manner.” ~ Mike Robertson

That revolution is here baby, it’s called Anusara Yoga.

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I would really love to hear your thoughts and opinions of this article, and invite you to discuss your ideas here. What do you think of his assertions? Side note: My comments are written with an obvious bias towards Anusara Yoga which I study and practice. Other yoga methods also emphasize the biomechanics and provide effective instruction (with a tip of my mat to my Iyengar friends)!

YogaGlo: A New Approach to Yoga Videos

As the self-proclaimed YogiTechChick, I’m often weighing the effects of technology on our lives. At first glance, technology and a yoga practice seem diametrically opposed to one another. By its very nature, doesn’t it take us further away from “being present”? The endless stream of text messages, emails and 24/7 connectivity certainly bears witness to this shift away from the present moment with distraction only a fingertip away.

Still, many yogis are finding constructive ways to incorporate technology in their practice. Ipods give access to yoga podcasts and practice music. Iphones offer meditation timers. From blogs to Twitter to Facebook, the growth of the online yoga community has allowed like-minded folks to inspire one another, share event notices, and build the kula.

Sites offering online classes are another tech tool yogis are utilizing. Yogaglo launched last month with that purpose and looks promising. Their site “streams yoga classes globally from the Yogaglo studio in Santa Monica, California, to create the experience of participating in the class at your home or on the go.” Currently in their beta version, Yogaglo is offering a 15-day free trial period for unlimited access to their classes which are promised to be updated regularly.

“Classes cover the spectrum of asana styles, meditation, lectures, workshops, and special events.” Their home page displays the six most recent classes and you can sort archived classes according to teacher, style, level and duration. (You can pick by Levels 1-3 and duration of practice 5 – 120 minutes.) Advertised styles include: Anusara, Yin, Hatha, Vinyasa Flow and even meditation. Teachers include: Jo Tastula, Noah Maze, Stephen Espinosa, Genevieve Fischer and Tara Judelle. (Both Tara and Noah are certified Anusara Yoga teachers.) There is also promise of guest teachers as well.

The technology integration continues with a Facebook application:

With our Yogaglo Facebook application you can become part of the global yoga community.  Your friends on Facebook who have installed the Yogaglo app appear in your Yogaglo Friends tab.  With our Facebook app, you see from your profile when your favorite class is uploaded to the Yogaglo website.

While online classes aren’t for everyone, they certainly fill a niche. If you can’t make your regular class or need some guidance for a home practice, inspiration may be just a mouse click away. For those in smaller communities without access to large studios, this may be the only way they can experience a class with a seasoned teacher without traveling. As a yogi in the 21st century, being present may just be at the end of your fingergtips after all.

Gretchen Rubin’s Ten Myths About Happiness

Gretchen Rubin writes The Happiness Project blog, a wonderful collection of ideas on happiness which includes everyone from ancient sages to new-age gurus, spiritual advisers and pop psych touters. Rubin shares her experiences “test-driving” these ideas and has written a book which will be released sometime this year.  Earlier this week, she recapped her 10 Myths about Happiness, along with links to her thoughts on each one.

Ten Myths about Happiness — Which Do You Believe?

Each day for two weeks, I posted about Ten Happiness Myths. Today, for your reading convenience, I’m posting the entire list, with links. ~ Gretchen Rubin

No. 1: Happy people are annoying and stupid.

No. 2: Nothing changes a person’s happiness level much.

No. 3: Venting anger relieves it.

No. 4: You’ll be happier if you insist on “the best.”

No. 5: A “treat” will cheer you up.

No. 6: Money can’t buy happiness.

No. 7: Doing “random acts of kindness” brings happiness.

No. 8: You’ll be happy as soon as you…

No. 9: Spending some time alone will make you feel better.

No. 10: The biggest myth: It’s selfish to try to be happier.

What do you think of her list? Are there ones you’d add or modify?  Which ones strike you in some way?

Darren Rhodes & the Making of the Anusara Poster

“Late in November 2005, we concocted a crazy plan. 1) Darren Rhodes would perform every asana in the Anusara Syllabus in two days. 2) He would do all of the poses of each type (backbends, armbalancing, forward folds etc) in each level as an uninterrupted set (for Ross’ video purposes). 3) Michael would photograph every pose for output to a syllabus poster. This is some footage from the process.” ~ Ross Evans

Those of you familiar with Anusara Yoga have seen the poster. Darren Rhodes, an accomplished Anusara Yoga practitioner and certified teacher, took on the yogic task of doing every asana on all three Anusara Yoga syllabi … and that he did. Recently, I was directed to this video which was made during the photographic shoot. The beautiful background vocals are those of Darren’s wife, Bronwin. Hanuman Jai is one of ten songs available on her CD Bhavana. In 2008, Yoga Journal named Darren one their Top 21 teachers under 40 who are “shaping the future of yoga.” You can find more information about Darren, his studio in Tuscon, and his upcoming schedule at Yoga Oasis.

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SPECIAL EVENT NOTICE

Anusara Yoga Immersion with Darren Rhodes & Christina Sell in Tuscon

• Part I – August 2009
• Part II – October 2009
• Part III – December 2009

For more information, contact Rachel at Yoga Oasis

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BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE …

• Read Darren’s approach to Hanumanasana and see more photos of him in the Pose of the Month column for Anusara Yoga’s Currents newsletter, Winter 2008 edition.
• See photos from his workshop with Christina Sell last summer on this blog.
• Special thanks to my friend Deirdra ~ my Twitter & Facebook friend ~ for bringing this awesome video to my attention.

Pamela Attends her FIRST Fitness Class

All you need to know about a 5:30 a.m. fitness class that involved a LOT of props AND even more concentration.  If there had been a Lifetime Fitness facility in Lucy Ricardo’s neighborhood, THIS would have been the script.  STAY TUNED!

The Anusara Yoga Question: Who’s Your Teacher?

Christina Sell

The story goes that it is not uncommon for John Friend to ask a student, “Who’s your teacher?” during one of his Anusara Yoga workshops. To his experienced legion of teachers, this comes more as an inquiry about THEM than the particular individual being questioned. And as such, there are lighthearted jokes in the Anusara yoga kula ~ but with a very real undercurrent ~ when someone playfully chimes, “Who’s your teacher?”

My teacher, Christina Sell, reminded us of that sentiment frequently in the weeks leading up to John’s visit to Austin last fall. “You know what I’ve taught you,” she’d admonish, “… so do it!” But it was more than simply wanting to “look good” as our teacher. Christina believes that her role is to teach Anusara Yoga culture as well as the methodology. She wanted us to know what to expect and how to behave not just in John’s workshop, but in any setting with seasoned Anusara Yoga teachers and practitioners. With the ferocity of a mother duck quacking at the feet of her ducklings so that they can safely navigate a busy intersection, Christina shared the wisdom of her experience to help us successfully navigate a John Friend workshop.

Lately, her travel schedule has afforded many more students the benefit of that wisdom. Yet this leaves those of us in Austin without her guiding “quack.” I’ve used this time as an opportunity to explore some other proverbial intersections in the yogic world, and last week ventured into a “non” Anusara Yoga class at the studio where I practice.  While I didn’t know the particular teacher, I recognized her from one of Christina’s recent classes that she’d also attended. She came over to me and introduced herself, then added with a nervous laugh, “You’re one of Christina’s students. I don’t want YOU in my class.” I smiled at her reassuringly and casually dismissed it.

Still, as I closed my eyes, I joined my hands in anjali mudra with a prayer of acknowledgment and gratitude. “Who’s MY Teacher?”… Christina Sell.

Yeah, baby!

6 Words Inspires Creativity

"Reflections always include light and dark" ~ Ron Box

As those of you who read this blog regularly know, my 6-word memoir posts are part of a challenge I made to myself: could I write one a day for a whole year?  The project is nearing the halfway point. While sometimes I am less than inspired in my posts, I continue to find it an interesting and insightful. The daily discipline alone sparks my creativity, and reminds me that benefits come through regular practice ~ true in writing as well as yoga.

In addition to recording my thoughts here, I also keep a separate blog, The Pam-oirs, that is dedicated to my six word musings. There is no other writing included with the posts, just my daily reflection and an occasional related photograph. As such, comments on that site are rare, but recently I received one from Ron Box, a professional photographer in Brentwood, Tennessee:

“Just browsing through the blogosphere and your site caught my eye. Not an easy thing to do. A cool concept which you are executing beautifully.” He followed up with his own 6 word post: “Challenge creates growth we never expect.”

I told him I LIKED that and was going to have to share.  A day or two later, another message arrived.  “I just downloaded some new pictures on my blog and tried my hand at 6 word descriptions of each picture.” Be sure to check out his beautiful photography and creative captioning. Six words inspires creativity in many different forms.

Creative energy builds when we are in collaboration, whether that be with one another or the universe as a whole.

27 Facts You Should Know About Men

Editor’s Note: This has nothing to do with anything other than it made me laugh. An internet thing that I don’t know who wrote but enjoy!

27 FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MEN

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they’re really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

9. All men hate to hear “We need to talk about our relationship.” These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.

10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.