The Month of M.A.Y. ~ Misery, Agitation & Yearning for June
It is late, I am tired but completely revved up and unable to sleep. The month of May always plays out this way. There is so much to do to wrap up my job before the end of the school year and most of it isn’t much fun or very rewarding … just a lot of grunt work. My 20-hour part time job expands into 35 or more with lots of demands & little time to complete them. Deadlines loom.
Our family life is chalked full; it’s always busy but especially so in May. The boys’ final school activities, field trips, band concerts and parties, plus our son moving back home from college. That is a good thing, of course, but there is the usual adjustment for all of us college son’s social life meets Mom & Dad’s bedtime routine. Then, the social engagements for friends & family, Mother’s Day, several friends turning 50, an annual 3-day golf tournament for Brian & the his racing season “opens” with both the Muddy Buddy last weekend and the Cap-Tex Triathlon later this month.
And then the yoga — oh yeah, this is a yoga blog — there has been so much great yoga stuff scheduled this month — two Anusara immersion weekends, plus the weekend workshop with Desiree! So my usual weekend regrouping time is gone. I read the blogs of my yoga friends with a mixture of envy & guilt. I have had to let some group practice opportunities slip by. I want to be out there too and maybe I could be out there IF only I was better organized. Or another thought creeps into my mind ~ Maybe all of that is just an excuse; perhaps they’re all just more committed than me. And envy meets guilt.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
Our two younger boys are clearly losing steam as the school year ends and both seem to be checking out a little before the school bell sounds for the summer. I hate to get on them about studying but lately it seems that’s all I do ..I am constantly riding them about unfinished assignments or forgotten school books. Motivation by Intimidation, now there’s some good parenting going on! My pendulum swings widely from the overzealous maniacal mom to the “Let me just put on my best Savasana face” yogi, detach & escape. Yes, I’m SURE they will do all their homework & read for 30 minutes while I practice some soothing forward bends for a couple of hours at the studio.
I feel pulled in so many directions and never quite fully where I need to be. When I’m at home I feel I should be “doing” something. When I am at work, I am struggling to get out the door; and when I’m at the yoga studio I’m feeling I should be at home overseeing homework. I am not one of those women who balances well (which is quite aptly demonstrated on the mat as well!) Wonder Woman, I ain’t!
So Bri’s birthday is this weekend & I hate it because I so want it to be special & it’s always at this crazy time of year. Throw in that he is impossibly difficult to buy gifts for because he is very particular about what he likes. I’ve learned that it’s never a good idea to wing it, but he is not so good about getting a list out there. (I, on the other hand, ALWAYS have suggestions on the table!) Finally, after several prompts — coupled with the threat that he’d have to stand in a return line at Macy’s on Memorial Day — he emailed me a list this morning which included, in part:
- the boys to pass all of their courses (A heaping dose of “Mom guilt” to start my day!)
- a ski boat and dock (Sure, let me just whip out my checkbook!)
- world peace (Now I know how George W. feels!)
- an inexpensive digital camera (Okay, now we’re actually talking.)
- x-ray vision (Hey, I said I wasn’t Wonder Woman, didn’t I?!)
- something like the Lucky jewelry stuff, not chick style (Okay, Honey, so noted, no “chick style!” but I was so hoping we were going to be able share.)
- Our oldest son to get a job (Offers, people, any offers?)
- Bike Helmet (Great idea as clearly this list reflects some earlier brain injury!)
- You to get your business taxes done (Now THAT’S funny, Babe!)
Ahhh, the month of M.A.Y … Misery, Agitation & Yearning! Memorial weekend is coming and face it, at this rate, it may well be my memorial that we’re planning. Until then, I’m off to BestBuy to get my husband a birthday present.
Superman is meeting me in the parking lot at 9:00 to discuss X-ray vision!